Mixed Berry
by BlindHuntress
Summary: Pam remembers when. Jam & some onesided Roy/Pam


..ooOoo..

Pamela Beesly moped about the apartment, restless. Roy watched her from the recliner, eyes going from her pacing form to the television.

"What's eatin' you Pammy?" he asked, chuckling.

"Nothing," she answered drearily and moved into the kitchen.

_I'm hungry_ she decided, _Yes, that's it, I'm hungry._

So she made her way to the kitchen and opened the fridge, eyes wandering over its contents. Roy's beers, bottles of water, fruits and vegetables…then a whole shelf full of yogurt, for her lunches.

Catching sight of the red foil tops, Pam's heart seemed to sink in her chest.

Mixed Berry.

"_So, Jim said that you're favorite flavor of yogurt is Mixed Berry; is that true?"_ the cameraman had asked, a mysterious grin on his face.

She remembered smiling, giggling, _blushing_, _"Jim said that, huh? Yeah, yeah I guess it is."_

Mixed Berry yogurt, red, blue and gold foil caps; they all made her think of one thing, one person: Jim Halpert.

He'd left for the Stamford branch weeks ago and her rehearsal dinner was in three days.

Suddenly wheels in Pam's head began turning and she frowned, and then closed the fridge door. Curiosity was getting the best of her, and she was filled with the feeling she wouldn't be too happy with the results of her upcoming question.

"Roy?" she asked aloud.

"Yeah?"

"What's my favorite flavor of yogurt?" she asked, trying to keep her voice neutral.

Silence answered her, then the sound of the foot-rest being pushed down and the recliner rocking as Roy left it. He entered the kitchen, a frown on his handsome face.

"What?" he asked, his tone suggesting he had heard, but was confused.

"What's my favorite yogurt?" she repeated, leaning against the refrigerator.

"What kind of question is that?" he asked, laughing.

For a moment Pam felt foolish, but her heart was insistent upon an answer.

_It's such an easy answer, just tell me Roy. Just tell me…tell me you know it. Admit…you don't know._

"I don't know, Strawberry Banana? What does it matter, Pam? Is this what's been gettin' you down? Yogurt?" Roy's teasing only seemed to make the stinging of his ignorant answer worse.

"You don't know?" she said softly, blue eyes lowering to the linoleum.

"Pam," Roy began, finally sounding uneasy.

"It takes up one whole shelf. I've bought and eaten the same flavor since high school. I take it everyday for lunch. Tell.Me. What is it?"

Now Pam raised her eyes, and Roy felt startled at the hardened glint in their normally soft, loving depths.

"Uh…wow Pam, I have no idea where this is going, but I honestly have no idea. I didn't know it meant that much to you."

"_What, you don't want to burden Roy by talking about your feelings?"_

"_Yeah,"_

She remembered Jim's tone, the _disgust_; she remembered his angry face.

Pam thought of Jim, as she had been for the last three weeks and her heart ached anew.

She slumped in defeat against the fridge, "So you really don't know?"

Roy leaned against the opposite counter, face full of confusion.

"Pam, I really don't understand you," he said instead.

"I know you're favorite beer, I know you like it in bottles instead of cans." Pam began, eyes downcast, "I know you like spaghetti on Fridays, pizza on Saturdays, and macaroni and cheese on Sundays. I know the bar you go to with your brother to watch football games; I know Darryl is your best friend. I know you like the sandwiches in your lunch to be cut in half, not diagonally because that makes you feel childish in front of the guys; but you really like the diagonal cut. I know your favorite sandwich is peanut butter, and jelly; strawberry and grape on white bread."_ Your favorite sandwich is honey baked ham on wheat with just a squirt of mustard and a slice of provolone._

Roy seemed stunned and blinked at her confusedly.

"I know all these things about you, but you don't even know my favorite flavor of yogurt." _But Jim knew, Jim was my best friend in the entire world. Jim…I miss him. I love him._

"Pam, did something happen? Why are you acting like this babe? Is it cold feet, because you know, if it is, I have a few ways-"

Pam held up a hand and Roy's words immediately stopped flowing.

"I think…I think you don't appreciate me. I think I'm all give and you're all take. And you just keep taking, without giving me much of anything in return. Valentine's, Christmas, the Dundees…I'm tired of it, Roy. And frankly, I'm done with it too; I don't think that this is going to work."

Roy's eyes were endless pools of confusion and grief, "What?" he croaked, and his large hand gripped the counter for support.

_No, I will not focus on his grief. This is about Pam; this is about me and finally doing what's right for Pam, not Roy._

Silently Pam took the ring off her finger and reached, setting it on the counter next to Roy.

She smiled sadly at him, but inside she felt as if a great burden had been lifted off her shoulders with the weight of the ring gone from her finger.

"I'm sorry Roy, but I can't marry you."

"Pam…Pam!" Roy shouted his face a torrent of emotions. But Pam was already moving, grabbing her purse and heading for the door. Despite still being in her sweats and a spaghetti strap, her pajamas, she had no reservations about walking outside, she was free.

Slipping on her pink flip flops, Pam paused, leaning a hand against the doorframe of the front door.

"Your favorite color is green!" Roy declared, rounding the corner, face red.

Looking down at her shoes, Pam sighed. _His favorite color is…was blue_.

"No, that's your favorite color, Roy."

"Purple!"

"No Roy," she sighed and opened the door and walked out without looking back, "I'll be back to get my things," she called out.

..ooOoo..

"I love Jim," she said aloud and the sentence made her smile, she had wanted to say that for so long. "Mrs. Pamela Halpert," she said softly, and with guilty pleasure she blushed.

Fishing her cell out of her purse, Pam stopped and sat on a bench, ignoring the people of Scranton as they whizzed by her in the pleasant weather of spring.

Dialing from memory she held up the silver-pink phone to her ear and waited.

"Hey Mom," Pam greeted, "Guess what?"

"I left Roy, the wedding is off."

"I don't know really, but…I just realized I had a lot more invested in the relationship than he did and…and I don't think I loved him anymore."

"No there isn't someone else, Geez Mom. But…well, I've been thinking, you know… about Jim."

"Yeah, I think I made a mistake too. I didn't even think about it really, until today. The office has been so boring without him…but, you know what? He knows my favorite yogurt Mom, he knows it. He knows my hopes, dreams and feelings; not even Roy knows those. He knows my favorite yogurt, because he loves me."

..ooOoo..

"Pam?"

The voice seemed so far away to Pam, but it was familiar.

"Pam?" Laughter, "Earth to Beesly, you still with me?"  
Blinking, Pam came to, looking over into smiling blue eyes and a heartbreakingly handsome smile.

"Hm?" she answered.

Jim laughed, head thrown back and mouth open wide. He looked at her with eyes full of love.

"I asked, like, a thousand years ago: when?" His smile was impish.

She smiled coyly back, "When, what?"

Batting innocent eyelashes at him, she tried to restrain the huge grin that threatened to take over her face and instead dropped her eyes to his sandwich; ham on wheat, with mustard and provolone.

Then warm fingers were caressing her cheek and angling her face up to look at his, her hand clenched around the plastic handle of the spoon; the one that wasn't holding his other hand, anyway.

His face was thoughtful, eyes soft but full, mouth serious.

"I asked when you knew you loved me."

Pam Beesly looked at Jim Halpert under the lights of the break room, sitting across the small table from her, over a container of yogurt and a ham sandwich.

"Oh, that's a good question. When did I say I loved you again?" she teased and his mouth twitched, trying to keep his composure, but his thumb kept stroking her cheek lovingly.

Pam let the spoon rest within the yogurt container and placed her hand over the one resting on her cheek.

She looked him deeply in the eyes, _her new favorite color: blue_; and spoke softly to him.

"Jim Halpert, you had me at Mixed Berry."

_Fin_

..ooOoo..

_**Author's Note: Please review! Don't mean to be a Roy hater, but…I LOVE JAM! YAY!**_


End file.
